Lies
by necroshiver
Summary: "I want you to be broken like me." Songfic, one-shot, Sadstuck, Karezi. Rated M for language, slight violence, and sexual themes.


_A/N: The idea of this story came into my mind when I was at school and I was really bored during Physics class... and I wrote it at home instead of studying History. XD There won't be a sequel to this, trust me it's depressing enough in itself even if it's a bit short. I highly recommend listening to 'Your Love is a Lie' by Simple Plan (which I was listening to while writing) while you read this fic, it has better effect with the music playing in the background. seriously. Now I guess I should shut the fuck up, right? Okay... Enjoy the story.^^ _

* * *

_I fall asleep by the telephone_  
_It's 2 o'clock and I'm waiting up alone_  
_Tell me where have you been?_

I have been waiting for you for fucking long hours. You said you were going to visit your childhood friend Vriska who wants to help you in planning our wedding, like choosing the dress or the decoration and things like that. You also said that it won't last long and you will be home very soon. I believed you. But I don't believe that choosing a wedding dress lasts for this many hours from the afternoon to two hours past midnight.  
I haven't even got a single fucking call or text message from you since you stepped outside the house. I start to worry and I'm wondering where the hell you could be. Finally I decide to call you now, I dial your number and a single moment later I hear your phone ringing in your working room. Well it occurs sometimes that you forget to bring your phone with you, right? I don't know why I have a bad feeling though.  
Just because of innocent curiosity I go in your working room to take a look around. When we moved here you told me that you don't want to go to an office to work every fucking day so I agreed to equip your own office at home and when it was done you also said that when you're working you need some privacy so I should not bother you there. I understood so I haven't just even gone inside your room very often.  
Now when I take a look around there I can say that I am really astonished. I know you more painstaking and natty or neat so that I could have never ever imagined what I see in your room. Documents and stuff brushed aside from the desk to the floor along with pens and pencils. The drawers pulled out and papers thrown out from them like if you were in a hurry when searching for something and forgot to close them. In the other side of the room there are clothes thrown on the sofa.  
Because of the ringing I find your phone easily; it's also on the floor near a pile of papers next to the trash. I pick it up; and also there is something else that catches my eyes. A small, light pink colored envelope which is already opened, it contains a short letter written in someone's messy handwriting. I hesitate, not sure if I should read it or not; but in the end I start to read.  
As I am holding the letter and your phone in my hands I hear the front door is opened. I also hear cautious footsteps hurrying to the room where I am now. I turn around and see your startled face. You look at me confusedly and I just give you an omniscient expression. Neither of us says a word though deep inside I want to ask a lot of things.

_I found a note with another name_  
_You blow a kiss, but it just don't feel the same_  
_Cause I can feel that you're gone_

I don't really mind you standing in the door, I simply go to the sofa, toss away some clothes and sit down, holding the letter in my hands and reading it again and again and again.  
"TZ. Tonight. At my place. – DS."  
You sit next to me, putting down your bag on the floor. I put the phone in your hands but I keep the letter to myself. You reach for it but I'm not giving it to you. You sheepishly give me a kiss on my cheek, but I can feel it's not the same 'welcome home kiss' we always give for each other. It is something else, something more meaningful, it hides your regret and realization that your secret is revealed. Some kind of emptiness spreads inside my soul as I finally come to know that I've lost you not a whole month before our wedding without even noticing it.

_I can't bite my tongue forever_  
_While you try to play it cool_  
_You can hide behind your stories_  
_But don't take me for a fool_

"How long have you been like that?" I ask with a trembling voice.  
"Karkles, it's not what it seems like, it's just…" you whisper.  
"I asked how fucking long have you been fucking keeping up that fucking relationship with that fucked shitface whoever is that." I am almost shouting.  
"Wow Karkat it was four 'fuck's in a single sentence it's unusual even from you!"  
I calm myself down as much as possible. "Don't avoid the fucking subject. All I want to know is how long has it been."  
You stay silent for a while, just looking at your feet. I'm constantly looking at you with a questioning expression. Finally you sigh then open your mouth to say something.  
"…Since we've moved in."  
Your sentence had an effect on me like if my heart shattered into billions of tiny pieces. I can't really hold back my anger any longer.  
"How the fuck did you dare to think that I won't notice it? Do I really look like a complete idiot or what? Look into my eyes when I'm fucking talking to you."  
"Karkat, I am really tired now, can't we just talk it over tomorrow?"  
"Why do you want me to care about you when you didn't care about my feelings through the whole time? Explain everything from the beginning right here and right fucking now."  
You sigh again, I can hear from your voice that you're near crying. "It all started when he came to help us furnishing the house. Since then we got along pretty well and you know he came here from time to time but I swear we've always been only friends!"

_You look so innocent_  
_But the guilt in your voice gives you away_  
_Yeah you know what I mean_

Now I am the one who stays silent for a while and when I speak up I say "And you expect me to believe all that shit? Well it's possible you two are friends, but…friends with benefits? You're so funny Terezi I almost laughed my ass off!"  
I suddenly stand up from the sofa and start walking around in the room. Now I understand everything when an obvious thing comes to my mind. That fuckass was here yesterday too.  
When you don't say anything I continue my monologue. "So your room is a mess because of yesterday, eh? Fuck that, when I look around all I can see is Dave fucking you hard on the sofa, on the floor, even on the table… That innocent-looking kiss on the cheek you gave him yesterday evening when he left was the aftermath of your sweet little make out?"  
I don't really understand why you are not saying anything. Could it be shame? Or even regret? Nah, I can read in your mind even if you are silent, I know you too damn well. I could say for sure you just don't want to admit I am right.  
You hurt me, broke my heart, no, not only my heart, you broke me completely in every way possible. Now I want you to feel the same. I want you to be broken like me.  
I grab your arm and go out of the working room and head straight to our bedroom. I toss you on the bed and show you that I can be like him.

_How does it feel when you kiss when you know that I trust you_  
_And do you think about me when he fucks you_  
_Could you be more obscene_

I quickly undress you completely and I don't care that you resist. Anger fills my insides as I bite in your neck and you cry out. When I hear your voice I violently put my lips on yours, licking and biting, asking for entrance. You moan in the kiss and I twist our tongues together passionately.  
"Did he kiss you like this? And you liked it?" I hiss as we're gasping for air and I unbutton my jeans.  
"No, Karkles, please… don't…"  
"Don't what? You didn't say 'no' to him even once, did you?" I shout.  
"…I didn't." you confess and it upsets me even more.  
"And I believed I was the only one for you! Wouldn't that be easier if you said 'no' to me when I asked you to marry me instead of saying 'no' right now? You know what? It's too fucking late!" I let out a sob as I yell at you while spreading your legs and crawling over you.  
You shut your eyes and cover your mouth with your hands to prevent yourself from screaming as I violently enter you. I don't care if it hurts for you or not. I don't want to give you any pleasure. You're screaming from pain and your voice is the most fucking satisfying thing I've ever heard. You lay under me and you're becoming even more miserable with every thrust I give in you. You're panting heavily and crying loudly, pleading me to stop. I can barely control my own body as I grab your breasts and massage them with aggressive moves, along with every furious thrust. I dig my nails into your pretty beautiful immaculate skin on which a little trail of blood appears. I lick it and bite you as well; you mewl in pain again. If only you could see how beautiful you are, you disgusting ungrateful whore; if only you could feel how fucking much I loved you…  
"Now you're thinking about him… like you… thought about me… while doing the same… with him?" I groan as I feel myself quickly release and I slip off of you. In response you cry out my name.

_So don't try to say you're sorry_  
_Or try to make it right_  
_Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late._

You quietly start sobbing. "I would have never cheated on you Karkles, I… I'm sorry and I…"  
"I told you it's too late to fucking regret anything." I interrupt.  
"I know, but… can't we just forget it all?"  
"You're right. We can't. I repeal our engagement. End of story."  
"What? No, Karkles, please… How can you do that…" your voice becomes trembling and I see you're shaking.  
"How could YOU do THAT to ME?" I can't help but let out my tears as I see you crying as well.  
"I…I don't know, shit, to hell with everything! I know I fucked up okay? But I honestly promise you I'll never do that again, I'll be loyal and true to you in everything I do! Just please… don't… don't leave me…"  
I show you a sarcastic smile then I look in an other direction as I whisper. "Out."  
"What?" your eyes widen.  
"I said out. Get the fuck out of there. It's no longer our common home." I say in a deadly calm tone.

_You can tell me that there's nobody else_  
_(But I feel it)_  
_You can tell me that you're home by yourself_  
_(But I see it)_  
_You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want_

"No, I don't want… I can't…" you sniff while flow of tears run down your face.  
"You say 'no' to me again? Then you can go and say 'yes'… or maybe "ahh fuck yes Dave please more' to him!" I yell as I wipe away my tears.  
"I said I don't want that!" you scream and you try to hug me. I let you do so, and you continue speaking. "I swear on my life I will end any contact with him! He won't come over here again and I will never ever say to him a word. Listen to me Karkles please I really regret what I did and I want everything to be undone…"  
I hug you too and I just smile while I'm holding you close to me in a tight embrace. You seem to be relieved as I kiss you deeply, as gently as I can, and you kiss me back with even more emotions.  
Your kiss shows me that in fact I am the one who is miserable. Why do I love you too fucking much? Why do I forgive you even if I don't want to? Why can't I control my feelings when I'm around you? You look up to me with your eyes burning red from crying. These eyes of yours tell me everything I need to know, I can see in them that you want to stay with me like you said as well. But there is something else. Your eyes tell me that

_your love is just a lie._


End file.
